a few things I’ve been thinking about and a few things I’ve been paranoid-ing about
Discover more from That was bullshit and so can you
a few things I’ve been thinking about and a few things I’ve been paranoid-ing about
because not all my thoughts are winners
But first, a quick apologies: hey! if it seems like you haven’t heard from me in a while, it’s because I’ve been too busy f–ing your mom.
I think I might prefer nightmares to dreams. I think a good dream is a letdown, emotionally. I hate waking up and realizing that the cool, delightful thing that was happening to me is not real.
I don’t know if the brand Eddie Bauer has just been releasing some absolutely fresh threads recently or I’m just getting old.
Would you rather have your partner cheat on you or have them slowly become a Nazi? For me, I think… a Nazi?
A lot of new cars have remote start and some sort of self-driving technology now. Are we not at least a little bit worried about Russian spies or Bolivian terrorists or those pesky Italians hacking into, like… 40 million cars at the same time, starting them up, and turning them into four-wheeled, human-seeking death robots? (not unlike this ~electric~ scene from Fast & Furious 8: The Fate of the Furious)? I’m not 10/10 worried about this but I’m definitely like 7/10 worried about this.
Race, racy, racial, racist, and racer are a strange set of words. Race means two things, the meanings of racial and racist are related to one another and also to one of the two meanings of race, you would assume racy would be used to describe a racist but it means something completely different, and racer relates to the meaning of race that is not related to racial or racist.
I bet our grandkids’ kids and grandkids’ grandkids are going to have something super fucked up about them because of all the microplastics we’ve made. Something like comically aggressive COPD or the inability to create memories.
Would you rather have to drown someone to death or stab someone to death?
What you’ve missed as a freeloading free subscriber:
And look—I don’t want to be one of those guys who constantly tries to get you to upgrade. I probably will be, but I don’t want to be. So just buy my shit. Support me. I want to be one of those successful writers that Substack swears exist.
This newsletter edition has been sponsored by The Town Crier and I’ll fuck your couch dot com. The Town Crier is a satirical newsletter and I’ll fuck your couch dot com is a business where I come to your house and fuck your couch. This newsletter has also been sponsored by Enacko. Enacko is… well, Enacko is like if The Town Crier and I’ll fuck your couch dot com had a baby.